How We Ask This September
By Paige Chickadaunce ’25, clinical intern in the Student Counseling & Wellness Center
“How are you?”
It’s one of the most common questions we ask each other on a college campus. We ask it while we walk to class, pass someone in the hallway or sit by someone at lunch. And just as often, the answer is automatic and with limited disclosure.
Did you mean it? Did you have any intention of carrying the conversation further? Did you expect them to say anything other than “Good! How are you?” Are you prepared to respond appropriately to anything other than ‘good’?
What would happen if we started to ask that differently?
“Good” may look like good.
She was still going to class. He was still performing well in his sport. They were laughing with their friends. They still answered, “Good.”
Prevention takes place long before a crisis. It begins when someone feels comfortable enough to say, “I’m not doing as well as I look.”
What would happen if asking for help became as normal as asking a professor for clarification? Asking a coach, teammate or trainer to check your form? Visiting the health clinic to get a shot to make you feel better? Going to your academic advisor to ease the frustration of a heavy course load?
Sometimes caring for another person means asking a question that feels uncomfortable. Feeling unsure about how to respond to something other than “good” should not keep us from asking. Just being willing to listen to someone and connect them with support is enough.
You don’t have to have the perfect words. Connecting someone with support is as easy as offering to help them make an appointment at the SMWC Student Counseling & Wellness Center or sit with them as they call or text 988 or chatting through 988lifeline.org.
That’s enough.
So, the next time you ask someone, “How are you?” Don’t be afraid to dive deeper.
Mean the question. Be willing to listen to the answer. You are surrounded by support.
At SMWC, we believe in transforming ourselves, our community and our world. Sometimes that transformation begins with a question.
About the author: Paige Chickadaunce is an SMWC alumna and former Mental Health and Wellness Peer Educator completing her Generalist Practicum at the SMWC Student Counseling & Wellness Center as she pursues her Master’s in Social Work.
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